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Wedding Stationary Etiquette |
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There are so many different types of wedding stationary
these days. Read below to learn what all of this
stationary is for, when to send it, what it includes, and what
you really need for your wedding. |
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What is it for? Used
to formally invite all of your guests to your wedding. |
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What does it include? Names
of bride and groom, information on who is hosting the wedding,
date and time of wedding, and wedding ceremony location. Sometimes
includes information on required attire and/or whether or not
children are invited. |
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Who needs it? Anyone
getting married. |
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When to send it? Typically
2 months before your wedding date. |
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What is it for? Used
to informally invite your guests to your wedding much further
in advance than the invitation. This prevents guests from
making vacation plans or other plans on your wedding date. |
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What does it include? Names
of bride and groom, wedding date, the wedding ceremony city and
state, an “invitation to follow” statement to prevent
confusion in elderly guests, and your wedding website if applicable. An
Accommodations Card is frequently sent in conjunction with the
Save the Date Card. |
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Who needs it? Anyone
getting married on a holiday weekend, anyone with family/friends
that must travel long distances to the wedding, anyone planning
a destination wedding, and anyone getting married during a tourist
season in a touristy location where hotels/flights might be booked
far in advance. |
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When to send it? Typically
4 to 6 months before your wedding date. May be sent up to 12
months in advance especially if planning a destination wedding
to a location like Hawaii or Aruba. |
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What is it for? Used
to allow your guests to easily respond to your wedding invitation
and choose between different menu options if applicable. |
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What does it include? A Mail-in
RSVP includes: RSVP date (typically 2 weeks – 1 month before
the wedding date), space for guest names, accept/regret checkboxes,
and, if applicable, menu choices with checkboxes. More traditional
RSVP cards are blank allowing guests to write a personal accepts/regrets
message to the bride and groom. A Phone-in/Internet RSVP
includes: RSVP date and a telephone number to call or a website
address to visit to complete the RSVP. |
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Who needs it? Anyone getting
married that does not see all of their wedding guests on a regular
basis and that does not want to have to call all of their guests
to find out if they will be attending the wedding. RSVPs
are especially important for couples planning large (>150
guest) weddings. |
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When to send it? Send it with
the Invitation typically 2 months before your wedding date. |
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What is it for? Invites
guests to your wedding reception if it is in a different location
than your wedding ceremony. |
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What does it include? Reception
time and reception location name, address and phone number. May
also include notes like “Adult reception.” |
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Who needs it? Anyone
who is having their wedding reception at a different location
than their wedding ceremony and anyone who is inviting more people
to their wedding ceremony than their wedding reception. |
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When to send it? Send
it with the Invitation typically 2 months before your wedding
date. |
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| What? Rehearsal
Dinner Invitation |
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What is it for? Invites
members of the wedding party and important family members to
your rehearsal dinner. |
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What does it include? Rehearsal
dinner date, time, location name, address, and phone number. |
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Who needs it? Anyone planning
a rehearsal dinner that is larger than normal (for example if you
have a large number of out-of –town guests that you would
like to get together before the wedding rather than just at the
wedding) and anyone who would like to provide a formal invitation
to the rehearsal dinner. |
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When to send it? Send it with
the Invitation typically 2 months before your wedding date. |
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What is it for? Tells your
guests what stores you have registered at. |
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What does it include? Typically
includes a statement like “The best gift of all would be
your presence at our wedding, but if you insist on buying us a
gift, we are registered at:” and a list of stores where
you are registered. |
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Who needs it? Anyone
who has registered at a number of stores and would like to communicate
this information to their guests formally. Some people
think that Gift Registry Cards are rude because it seems that
the couple is demanding a gift. If you are concerned
about this, then ask the mother-of-the-bride and the mother-of-the-groom
to informally communicate your gift registry information to
those guests who would not be offended and to those guests
who ask. |
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When to send it? Send it with
the Invitation typically 2 months before your wedding or with the
Bridal Shower Invitation typically 2 months before your Bridal
Shower. |
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| What? Map
and Directions Card |
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What is it for? Provides your
guests with information on how to get to and from important locations. |
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What does it include? Directions
from points North, South, East, and West (if applicable) to each
of the important locations (ceremony location, reception location,
hotel, airport, and rehearsal dinner location). Also typically
includes one large or a number of small maps to highlight each
of the important locations. Be sure to think about where
all of your guests are traveling from. It might not be necessary
to provide directions from the North, if all of your guests are
traveling from the South, East, and West. The Map and Directions
are typically printed on paper that coordinates with the wedding
invitation and is often provided by the ceremony/reception locations. |
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Who needs it? Anyone
who has a number of out-of-town guests, anyone with a number
of guests that are not familiar with the area where the wedding
ceremony and reception are taking place and anyone that is having
the wedding ceremony and reception in different locations. Most
everyone will want to provide their guests with some form of
map and directions because no one wants guests to arrive late
to their wedding. |
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When to send it? Send
it with the Invitation typically 2 months before your wedding. |
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| What? Accommodations
Card |
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What is it for? Informs
out-of-town guests of nice hotels that are close to the ceremony
and/or reception site. |
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What does it include? List
of 2 or 3 hotel names, addresses, phone numbers, and rates. If
a block of hotel rooms has been reserved for the wedding, that
information should be included as well (reserve-by date, name
the reservation is under, and group rate). |
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Who needs it? Anyone
who has a number of out-of-town guests and anyone that is having
a destination wedding. |
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When to send it? If applicable,
send it with the Save the Date Card typically 4-12 months before
your wedding. Otherwise, send it with the Invitation typically
2 months before your wedding. |
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What is it for? Thanks
your guests for coming to your wedding and/or for giving you
a gift. |
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What does it include? Traditionally
a handwritten note expressing personalized gratitude for your guest’s
presence and gift. |
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Who needs it? Anyone getting
married. |
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When to send it? Send within
2-3 months of your wedding if you want to avoid questioning/angry
phone calls. Traditional wedding etiquette says that you
have a whole year from the date of your wedding to send your
Thank You Cards. |
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| What? Placecard/Escort
Card |
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What is it for? Marks the
table and/or exact seat where a guest will be sitting at your reception. May
also be used by the caterer to determine what entrée each
guest ordered. Works in conjunction with the Table
Number/Name Cards. |
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What does it include? The
guest’s name and assigned table number are typically on
the front side of the card. The back of the card may also
include the guests chosen entrée (indicated by a single
letter, colored dot, etc…). One card may be provided
per couple, per family, or per guest. |
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Who needs it? Anyone
that would like to have assigned seating at their wedding and
would not like to post a large seating assignment chart at the
entrance of their reception location. |
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When to provide it? Placecards/Escort
Cards are normally placed on a table outside of the reception
location so that guests can pick up their card as they enter
the room. |
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| What? Table
Number/Name Card |
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What is it for? Works
in conjunction with the Placecard/Escort
Card. The
Placecard/Escort Cardtells your guest what table to sit at and
the Table Number/Name Card tells the guest which table is which. |
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What does it include? A
large card with the table number/name at the center of it. Table Number/Name
cards are frequently provided by the reception location. These
cards can be framed, mixed in with the floral arrangement, or
mounted to tall stands. |
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Who needs it? Anyone that
would like to have assigned seating at their wedding and would
not like to post a large seating assignment chart at the entrance
of their reception location. |
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What to do with it? A Table
Number/Name Card is placed at the center of each table either next
to, as part of, or in place of a floral centerpiece. |
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What is it for? Allows guests
to be more involved with the wedding ceremony and informs guests
of events/people involved with the wedding. May provide
guests with text that they have to speak/sing during the ceremony. |
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What does it include? Typically
includes the exact sequence of events of the ceremony (and/or of
the day) and the names and relationships of the bridal party (i.e.
Maid of Honor – Sylvia Smith – Sister of the Bride). May
also include prayers, readings or song lyrics that are to be recited
by the guests or designated speakers. May include information
as to who the ceremony is “in memory of”, directions
to the reception site, and fun tidbits about the couple (where
they met, the proposal story, etc…). |
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Who needs it? Anyone
with a complex wedding ceremony that may be difficult to follow
and/or that requires audience participation. |
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When to provide it? Programs
are normally handed out by the Ushers or Groomsmen at the entrance
to the ceremony location. |
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What is it for? Tells your
guests about the meal and any food choices being offered. |
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What does it include? A list
and description of each of the meal’s courses and an indication
of which courses a guest may need to make a choice for. Highlights
whether or not courses contain common allergens like nuts or tomatoes. Could
be individually personalized with each guest’s name and
serve the dual function of being a Placecard. |
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Who needs it? Anyone having
a reception in which the guests have not chosen their entrée
ahead of time and anyone with serious concerns about their guest’s
food allergies. |
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When to provide it? Menus
are normally placed on or beside each plate at the reception location. Alternatively,
2 or 3 Menus could be provided at each table to be shared among
the guests. |
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What is
it for? To
personalize and/or decorate your wedding favor. |
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What does it include? Typically
the names or monogram of the bride and groom. May also
include the wedding date or a short story explaining the significance
of the favor. |
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Who needs it? Anyone
that wants to personalize and/or decorate their wedding favor. |
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When to provide it? Favors
are placed either at each place setting at the reception location
or on a separate table near the entrance/exit of the reception
location so that guests can pick up their favors as they enter/exit. |
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